A well-known book store has recently held a sale. To my surprise there, in the midst of a pile of overruns and remainders, was that environmentalists’ bible, An Inconvenient Truth. Could Al Gore really have been so reduced in price and stature?
Piqued by memory, I browsed through it. There were all those images – himself riding the lift upwards to follow the graph of carbon in the air; the dead polar bears adrift in an Arctic sea; the oceans rising inexorably – even the great collapse of the Larsen Ice Shelf in Antarctica.
When I got home, I travelled south by Google Earth, to mourn the remains of the Dear Departed Shelf, testimony to the horrors of global warming. But I had an awful shock – the Shelf had returned! Zooming in to 65.7S, 60.7W, plumb in the middle of what was open sea only a few years ago, was as good a sheet of ice as you could wish for! Solid for miles around – a few cracks, to be sure, but basically wall-to-wall Shelf.
Global warming may have caused the demise of the shelves, so global cooling must account for their return. I think there is a conspiracy to hide the truth from us. The Global Warming industry knows that the world is actually cooling, that we are drifting back into an Ice Age. They are hiding this fact from us, to preserve their sinecures.
Why have we not been warned? The Western Cape was facing heat waves and drought. Is our future now one of freezing floods? Is this not the ultimate perversion of science, that the Global Warming scientists are silent on the awful fate we face as our world becomes glacial?
Fortunately there is a solution. We believe that carbon emissions cause global warming. Now is the moment to stave off the threat of an icy future. Let us burn all the fossil fuels we can; we must delay building windmills or solar cells until we are certain that the ice has been turned back and Mother Earth likely to remain habitable. Let us set up a special global warming fund, to reward those who can boost the carbon in the air.
I estimate that if we can raise the carbon dioxide levels to about 600ppm by 2030, we will have a reasonable prospect of avoiding the return to the Ice Ages. It will take some doing, but surely the futures of our children and grandchildren depend on it? And the plant kingdom will love us.